Movies in a minute

The concise critics

The final Twilight film is out, and everyone is happy. The fans get the final chapter, and people like me get the knowledge that there won’t be any more. Sorry, but I got 10 minutes into the first film and had to walk out. The pouting, the angst, the pouting. I had my share of teen movies when I was a teenager.

Which made me think – every generation has the chance to create the greatest teen movie of all time. Before they do so, they need to see what’s reached that pinnacle so they can stand on the shoulders of giants.

That said, open the curtains, roll the ads for the candy bar, dim the lights, and prepare to tell me where I got it totally wrong …

Top 25 Teen Flicks of All Time

  1. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – no explanation needed. The ultimate teen film
  2. Kick Ass – because Chloë Grace Moretz KICKS ASS
  3. Grease – it’s a shame no one can be stranded at a drive-in anymore
  4. To Sir With Love – groundbreaking for its time, and still has the power to break your heart
  5. Rebel Without A Cause – the textbook on how to be a troubled teen
  6. Stand By Me – story by Stephen King, directed by Rob Reiner, cast included River Phoenix & Wil Wheaton. Hard to beat this calibre.
  7. Romeo + Juliet – Shakespeare rocketed into the 20th Century with some chap called Leonardo
  8. The Breakfast Club – high school is hell … welcome to purgatory
  9. The Wild One – Brando was so bad the film was banned in the UK
  10. Back to the Future – Doc! DeLorean! Making sure your parents pash!
  11. Fast Times at Ridgemont High – keeping in real in the 80’s
  12. Footloose – something the red states of the US should watch again ASAP
  13. Wayne’s World – Bohemian Rhapsody head banging … Schwing!
  14. Ghost World – awkward, outcast teens & geeks in the noughties
  15. Heathers – because nothing says “I love you” than murdering the cool kids who make fun of you
  16. Edward Scissorhands – because a best-of movie list without Johnny Depp isn’t a list
  17. Dead Poet’s Society – be inspired and jump on your desk before Robin Williams starts doing silly voices again
  18. Donnie Darko – I wasn’t sure if this should make the list, but there’s this rabbit sitting next to me who is very convincing
  19. Pump Up The Volume – before the internet, there was pirate radio. Talk hard!
  20. Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion – OMG, like, you know?
  21. American Pie – flautists were never looked at the same way again
  22. The Harry Potter Series – some films plod, but just watching the trio growing up (oh, those magical pains of puberty) warrants a mention
  23. Risky Business – Tom Cruise in underwear. Before he became a nut-job (allegedly)
  24. American Graffiti – yes kids, George Lucas made films aside from Star Wars
  25. Mean Girls – Heathers without the murders but balanced out with Lindsay Lohan
Honourable Mentions:
  • Superbad – McLovin’
  • Bend it Like Beckham – Keira Knightly playing football
  • I Know What You Did Last Summer – teenagers being murdered for fun
  • Fame – remember my name
  • Clueless – it’s Jane Austin, bitch!
  • 10 Things I Hate About You – it’s Shakespeare, bitch!
  • Easy A – it’s The Scarlet Letter, bitch!
  • Sixteen Candles – it sucks when everyone forgets your birthday
  • Scott Pilgrim vs. the World – who knew dating could be this dangerous?
  • Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead – because Christina Applegate
  • Zombieland – because Bill Murray. because zombies
  • Juno – the sobering side to teen sex
  • Teen Wolf – Michael’s a Fox appears again with some harmless fluff
Dishonourable Mentions:
  • Twilight – setting the image of the modern woman back 50 years
  • Crossroads – because Britney, bitch!
  • Porky’s – good idea, poorly made. American Pie got it right
  • Return to the Blue Lagoon – you’d think Hollywood would have learnt from their mistakes, wouldn’t you?
  • Step Up 1, 2 & 3 – speaking of mistakes … you really think a reason needs to be made?
C’mon. You’re dying to let me know what’s wrong here. The comments box is right there. I dare you.
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Categories: feature, list

6 Responses so far.

  1. Steven says:

    So many missed. Off the top of my head: Goonies, The Burbs, Toy Soldiers, Lost Boys, One Crazy Summer, Gleaming the Cube, Weird Science.

  2. philippa says:

    Totally …lost boys, cruel intentions, interview with a vampire, mallrats, clerks, chasing Amy, (perhaps not solely designed for teens but it’s what I was watching)

  3. Maria N says:

    Clueless and Easy A are worth more than just a mention even honorable ones.

  4. Jeannette Scott says:

    re Twilight – “The pouting, the angst, the pouting” – are you refering to the film or to your reaction to it?

    Great article. Got most of my faves including Dead Poets Society, Grease (saw it 17 times at the cinema) and Heathers!

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