What’s it about?
Heads, limbs and plausibility go bye-bye as a soundtrack of phat beatz bludgeons away in this homage to classic kung-fu cinema, written and directed by rapper, producer and Wu-Tang Clan merchandise seamstress RZA. In a jungle village, the confusingly named Jungle Village, where the hip-hopper strains – unconvincingly – to play a humble blacksmith, named Blacksmith, an old chap, Gold, is offed by his crooked henchmen, Silver and Bronze. A knife-brandishing English soldier, named (groan) Knife, turns up, oh, and there’s a big bloke who can turn his body into brass, and he’s named Brass Body, and … no, sorry, this is pointless.

What did we think?
Ben says: There’s no doubting RZA’s long-held passion for chopsocky – but he hasn’t created a film. This is as authentic as glupping Red Bull with Sushi Train. This is his indulgent mess of a wet dream. And it’s utter wank.