Passengers

What’s it about?
When a spaceship malfunctions, two passengers on a 120-year voyage to a new home planet wake up from their sleep state 90 years too early.

What did we think?
Elizabeth Best says: Take a sci-fi flick, throw in some romance, a few major (and kind of messed up) ethical dilemmas, and a healthy dose of tension and you have a movie that will almost certainly promote robust discussion of that “what would you do?” variety after the credits roll. In what seems to be a trend in movies these days, the trailer for Passengers is a little misleading. Without spoiling things, the premise of this movie is a LOT darker than we are led to believe.

La La Land

What’s it about?
An aspiring actress (Emma Stone) and a jazz musician (Ryan Gosling) meet and fall in love in Los Angeles, musical style.

What did we think?
Elizabeth Best says: La La Land is simultaneously a loving homage to the golden age of cinema and completely uncharted filmic territory; nostalgic and new all at once. It delivers the feelings of falling in love in a heady, melodic rush that’s absolutely captivating. It channels films such as Singin’ in the Rain and An American in Paris while navigating the modern pitfalls of romance. But it’s so caught up in the quirky and magical “newness” of its concept that towards the middle it seems to rely solely on that. Unfortunately, this means the pacing feels at odds with the gloriousness of the rest of the film. But the magic returns for a finale guaranteed to take your breath away.

Collateral Beauty

What’s it about?
An advertising executive (Will Smith) totally shuts down when tragedy strikes. His “concerned” friends (Kate Winslet, Edward Norton, Michael Pena) try to help when he starts questioning the universe and writing letters to the concept of Time, Death and Love.

What did we think?
Elizabeth Best says: The intriguing trailer for this film is a lie. The concept, so artfully set up in the preview, is destroyed minutes into the film, creating a jarring effect that leaves a bitter, mean-spirited aftertaste. Collateral Beauty is emotionally manipulative, and seems to be created specifically to tug so fucking hard on heartstrings that it makes some kind of discordant non-musical cacophony of awfulness. It’s a movie purely about emotions that feels like it was made by someone who doesn’t understand how to human AT ALL. It gets two stars for what I thought the concept was, and the rest of the three taken off for what the actual movie robbed me of.

Assassin’s Creed

What’s it about?
A condemned man is rescued to take part in an experiment that allows him to connect to his ancestor’s memories using science… What? Really? How on Earth does that even…? Okay, Fine. That’s the story.

What we thought
Dan Beeston says:
I’m not sure if it was a problem with the mix but the film was SO LOUD that I felt flattened. The images flash by like they’re trying to cure Malcolm McDowell of his violent tendencies. No character seems sympathetic or even interesting. The story makes no sense. This film made me feel like a grandfather trying to program a VCR at a rave concert. The experience was a physical torture and I had to walk out after an hour.

Fuck this film

Red Dog: True Blue

What’s it about?
We learn about the early days of iconic outback canine Red Dog, and follow his adventures with his first ever BFF in this Aussie prequel.

What did we think?
Angela Young says: If you’re a softie, a dog lover, or you just don’t have a heart of stone, you probably loved the original Red Dog film. That loyal streak of red fluff who stole an outback town’s heart and gave a much-needed boost to the Australian film industry. Well, now we’re learning all about how he came to be out bush in the first place, and while it’s not quite such a heart-tugger as the first one, you’re probably going to still need some tissues if you go, and I recommend you do. Sterling effort from lead teenager Levi Miller (though Bryan Brown’s a bit iffy, sadly), but it’s the gorgeous Phoenix that steals the show as a four-legged star in the making.

Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders

What’s it about?
Holy nostalgic cash-in! Adam West’s Batman returns in all his camp glory! Facing more villainous villainy than Aunt Harriet can begin to imagine!
What did we think?
Stephen Scott says: If you love 60s Batman, this will wipe away the pain of having to endure the histrionic horror of Batman V Superman forever. With three original cast; winks to the classic beyond-bad staging techniques; decent impressions of Penguin & Joker; and a storyline as lame as the originals; it’s a blast that matches, and occasionally exceeds expectations. It’s brave, bold, stupid fun.

What’s Popular

Pacific Rim Uprising

What’s it about?
GIANT ROBOTS fight GIANT MONSTERS!! But this time they DO IT FOR A SECOND TIME!!

What we thought
Dan says: This is Pacific Rim ‘Lite’ and the one thing the original had going for it was that it was ‘heavy’: big characters, strong acting, imposing composition. They’ve replaced that with shrill teens, frenetic CGI and the goofy guy from Star Wars.

The first Pacific Rim film was far better than it had any right to be. This film takes that masterfully realised universe and splashes around the shallow end.

Blockers

What’s it about?
Three parents really, really do anything to ensure their daughters don’t have sex on prom night.

What we thought
Nick says: A little subversive and very poignant when it needs to be, Blockers is an incredibly effective and funny film that blends its adult comedy nicely with a story of a group of young teens making smart and empowering decisions.

Love, Simon

What’s it about?
Simon is a normal kid in his final year of high school. But Simon’s about to tell someone a secret that he’s been harbouring for a very long time. He’s gay.

What we thought
Dan says: You’ve seen this film before. It’s the hollywood teen romance film that you’ve already delighted in. It’s 10 Things I Hate About You. It’s She’s All That. It’s Can’t Hardly Wait. You’d think that the fact that it’s a boy who’s crushing on another boy might make it something different. The cool thing is, it doesn’t. It doesn’t matter at all that it’s a gay relationship instead of a straight one.

And that’s what makes this film matter so very much.

Also, by God it’s funny.

Red Sparrow

What’s it about?
You know all those 007 villains who seduce and manipulate James Bond? Well this is the film that shows you the training and life circumstances that lead them to that point.

What we thought
Dan says: Imagine if La Femme Nikita had a gun that shot not bullets, but sultry eyes, glistening lips and yearning genitals. This film reads like a 14 year old boy’s private fanfic. And not an emotional healthy boy either. The story telling is a mish-mash of torture-porn, normal porn, and deus ex machina.

The sad thing is there is a clever conceit and a decent storyline hidden deep within this cascade of lazy tropes and rape threats. The only thing going for it is Jennifer Lawrence in the nude, and if that’s your thing then I’m sure it’ll be on Mr Skin in a matter of weeks.

Now excuse me, I need a shower. Ugh!

Editor's Choice

Pacific Rim Uprising

What’s it about?
GIANT ROBOTS fight GIANT MONSTERS!! But this time they DO IT FOR A SECOND TIME!!

What we thought
Dan says: This is Pacific Rim ‘Lite’ and the one thing the original had going for it was that it was ‘heavy’: big characters, strong acting, imposing composition. They’ve replaced that with shrill teens, frenetic CGI and the goofy guy from Star Wars.

The first Pacific Rim film was far better than it had any right to be. This film takes that masterfully realised universe and splashes around the shallow end.

Blockers

What’s it about?
Three parents really, really do anything to ensure their daughters don’t have sex on prom night.

What we thought
Nick says: A little subversive and very poignant when it needs to be, Blockers is an incredibly effective and funny film that blends its adult comedy nicely with a story of a group of young teens making smart and empowering decisions.

Love, Simon

What’s it about?
Simon is a normal kid in his final year of high school. But Simon’s about to tell someone a secret that he’s been harbouring for a very long time. He’s gay.

What we thought
Dan says: You’ve seen this film before. It’s the hollywood teen romance film that you’ve already delighted in. It’s 10 Things I Hate About You. It’s She’s All That. It’s Can’t Hardly Wait. You’d think that the fact that it’s a boy who’s crushing on another boy might make it something different. The cool thing is, it doesn’t. It doesn’t matter at all that it’s a gay relationship instead of a straight one.

And that’s what makes this film matter so very much.

Also, by God it’s funny.

Red Sparrow

What’s it about?
You know all those 007 villains who seduce and manipulate James Bond? Well this is the film that shows you the training and life circumstances that lead them to that point.

What we thought
Dan says: Imagine if La Femme Nikita had a gun that shot not bullets, but sultry eyes, glistening lips and yearning genitals. This film reads like a 14 year old boy’s private fanfic. And not an emotional healthy boy either. The story telling is a mish-mash of torture-porn, normal porn, and deus ex machina.

The sad thing is there is a clever conceit and a decent storyline hidden deep within this cascade of lazy tropes and rape threats. The only thing going for it is Jennifer Lawrence in the nude, and if that’s your thing then I’m sure it’ll be on Mr Skin in a matter of weeks.

Now excuse me, I need a shower. Ugh!

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