WHAT’S IT ABOUT?

A high school senior (Nat Wolff) finds secret messages left for him by his recently disappeared crush (Cara Delevingne), and takes his friends on a road trip to track her down.

WHAT DID WE THINK?

The term “teen movie” basically exists to say “teenagers don’t know any better”, and Paper Towns is a movie that doesn’t help that. It’s got wonderful performances all around, especially from Cara Delevingne, and there’s a soundtrack filled with trendy music from the likes of Haim and The War on Drugs. Sadly, the smart-alecky and pretentious script imparts the tired message that “nerdy” guys, no matter how gross, are just sweet schlubs that deserve whatever female attention they can get.

What’s it about?

An ageing billionaire is given the chance to cheat death by having his mind transferred into a younger body. When his curiosity threatens the secrecy of the project he must cheat death again… and again… and again.

What we thought

Dan says: It’s like the creators of this film were experimenting with teleportation. Their clever ‘brain-swap’ sci-fi script climbed into the machine but they didn’t notice a gross little nineties action film buzz in at the last moment.

When the smoke clears you’ve got a vaguely interesting tale (brightened up by some artsy editing) that starts to digest itself with dull car chases and lots of uninspired gun fights. I never looked at my watch but I did forget I’d seen it the following day.

What’s it about?
Twenty years after a boy dies while performing in a high school play, a group of students reviving the play are terrorised by his malevolent ghost.

What did we think?
Dominic Barlow says: Behold yet another in the spate of tedious found-footage horror movies that Paranormal Activity unleashed. The usual problems are present – boring attempts at being scary, strained believability in the idea that someone would film it all – but we’re also given what might be the most loathsome main character in any film this year. Another found-footage chiller from this year, Unfriended, showed that vile protagonists are no obstacle to inventive film-making, but there’s no value like that to be found here.

What’s it about?
Five strippers go to a stripping convention for one last strip.

What did we think?
Elizabeth Best says: This is the movie everyone thought the original would be: an excuse for hot guys to get their kit off and a socially sanctioned way for women to drool over said guys. In between the pelvic thrusting, (I’m PRETTY sure there were scenes between the thrusting…) there’s a sense of humour that was missing from Magic Mike, making this film sillier but somehow more enjoyable (not just because of the semi-naked men, shut up.) If you’ve ever wanted to see porn on the big screen, this is your chance.

What’s it about?
Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney) is sent back to protect Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke) from the Terminator (Arnold Schwartzenegger), but Sarah isn’t the fragile flower she was supposed to be at this point in time. So what happened in the future/past to speed up her transition into butt-kicking warrior?

What did we think?
Elizabeth Best says: T5 pays homage without hitting you over the head, goes meta without ramming it home and reboots the franchise with a suitably satisfying time-bending plot. It’s the first Terminator film to feel like a Terminator film since T2. The only thing really wrong with this film is Clarke; Linda Hamilton she ain’t. If you haven’t watched the trailer, don’t: spoilers abound and some  cool reveals won’t be revelations at all. Ratings wise, I give the pre-credits film 3.5 stars… A post-credits sting scene drops that to a 3. You were so close, guys.

What’s it about?
Amy Winehouse created one of the greatest albums of our time, thrusting herself into the spotlight of public judgement: exactly the life she wanted to avoid.

What we thought
Stephen Scott says: There are train wrecks and there is Amy Winehouse. The opening of this documentary introduces us to a stella talent, a cheeky young lass with an old soul and the voice of a blues legend. Then the train wreck begins and doesn’t stop. Amy fell in love with a gold-digging drug addict and surrounded herself with “yes” men (including her father). It’s sad, it’s depressing, but how else could she have written such amazing music?

Is there any way I can use weeping emoticons instead of stars?

😢😭😰

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