Mile 22
What’s it about?
Mark Wahlberg and other angry friends try and transport a guy 22 miles while avoiding death by terrorists.
What did we think?
Nick says: Mile 22 offers nothing but epileptic action, an insanely poor editing job and poorly written, asshole characters. It gets a star because Iko Uwais is solid and at least it’s around 90 minutes long.
The Happytime Murders
What’s it about?
To clear his name of the brutal (yet strangely hilarious) Happytime murders, disgraced ex-cop turned private dick Phil Philips must overcome the bad blood between him and his old LAPD partner. But Phil’s a puppet living in a human world, and we all know puppets are only good for singing and dancing. Not being racist, just telling it like it is.
What did we think?
Stephen Scott says: believe it or not, there is a story thread running throughout this flick that comments on the racial tensions in Western society, but you can easily ignore that and take Happytime Murders for what it is: a blend of every b-grade buddy cop movie with Who Framed Roger Rabbit and Meet the Feebles.
It’s puerile, clichéd and predictable – in a good way. You know what to expect, it’s done well, and the jokes are more hit than miss.
I hope it moooooooves you in the same way it mooooooved me.
Crazy Rich Asians
What’s it about?
Rachel agrees to accompany her longtime boyfriend to his best mate’s wedding in Singapore, which will involve her meeting the family. Then she finds out he’s one of the country’s most eligible bachelors. He’s also rich… like, crazy rich… and she’s pushed into the spotlight.
What did we think?
Elizabeth Best says: I love the fact that this isn’t an “Asian” movie per se: it transcends race. It’s a blockbuster romantic comedy that just happens to have an all-Asian cast. Because of the wealth of the characters, it’s a feast for the eyes as well as the heart. Thoroughly enjoyable modern take on the Cinderella trope that proves diversity on screen doesn’t just work, it kicks ass.
Also, this movie made me feel really really poor, and really really single. Just saying.
The Darkest Minds
What’s it about?
In a dystopian fu … sigh. Come on everyone, say it with me: Evoking epic themes, the chosen one flees persecution, seeking a hate- (and adult) free utopia, overcoming perils with heartbreaking sacrifice.
What did we think?
Stephen Scott says: It’s perfect for tweens born too late for <select your preferred coming-of-age analogy – Hunger Games / Maze Runner / Twilight / Harry Potter / Buffy / Star Wars / Logan’s Run / Tomorrow People / Lord of the Flies / Watership Down / I’m sorry if I missed your favourite>.
Don’t get me wrong, kids WILL love it because it IS their version of the teenager heroes journey.
It just a shame this seen-it-before, plot-hole-ridden, quest-for-a-new-cash-cow is aiming to fill the gap for gen-whatever-are-we-up-to-now as it frustratingly fails to reach its potential and feels like a pilot for a Netflix series of Legion Jnr.
Special, one-off tiered rating system:
30 and over: ★☆ (you’ve seen it before done so much better)
18 – 30: ★★☆ (your tastes are still developing – it’s not that bad)
Under 18: ★★★☆ (go on, you’ll love it)
The Meg
What’s it about?
A research team discovers an undersea ‘Lost World’. When they accidentally release a 25 metre long predator they resolve to repair their mistake… with explosions.
What we thought
Dan says: There is absolutely no way to make a action-packed shark attack film and not make it contrived. For there to be any risk, people need to keep falling in the water. In The Meg, many people fall into the water.
There’s something special about beautiful bad movies. They don’t need character arcs. They don’t need well crafted monologues. They don’t need compelling relationships. Now don’t get me wrong, I wish that this film had those things.
See it in a crowd. Laugh at it together. Try not to get schlock on your boots.
Book Club
What’s it about?
Four women (Jane Fonda, Candice Burgen, Mary Steenburgen and Diane Keaton) who have a decades-long book club decide to read 50 Shades of Grey, which makes them all realise different things about their sex lives.
What did we think?
Elizabeth Best says: Book Club is the uncomfortable answer to the question: “Why don’t they make another Sex and the City movie?”