What’s it about?
A mind-boggling list of Hollywood will-bes, currently-ares and has-beens star in a series of loosely connected shorts joined together by “The Pitch”, in which Dennis Quaid “plays” an unpredictable lunatic aggressively trying to sell his awful script to embattled studio exec Greg Kinnear (easily the most relatable character in the film).

What did we think?
Mitch says: A class of illiterate orphans with four broken pencils, three sheets of paper and a reference copy of Das Kapital could write a funnier movie than this, and there would probably be fewer dick jokes. If you ever feel like your life has no purpose, now you know it does: to go and punch Peter Farrelly right in his stupid face.

What’s it about?
After roasting the candy-housed witch in the fairy tale, Hansel and Gretel grow up and become, surprise surprise, witch hunters.

What did we think?
Liz says: We really need two rating systems. As a B-grade flick Hansel and Gretel is actually kind of enjoyable, even if it does suffer from a case of the “takes itself too seriously by the end” blues. But compare it to real movies and, well, let’s just say Hansel’s diabetes from eating too much candy as a kid comes up more than once. Curse you diabetes! It’s so schlocky bad that it ALMOST swings around to being good again. Almost. But Jeremy Renner gets his shirt off, so there is that.

What’s it about?
A beautiful aristocrat (Keira Knightly) in Imperial Russia learns the hard way that ‘’sin has a price’’ when she embarks on an affair with a wealthy young Count.

What did we think?
Lisa says: DISCLAIMER: This SuperQuickReview was written by a literary plebeian who has never read Tolstoy’s celebrated tome (me). As such, no comment has been made regarding the success of the story’s translation to film. I really don’t care.

Audience members will quickly become as infatuated with Anna Karenina as the tragic couple is with each other. The cast is superb and the film is visually exquisite. It has a unique, old-world theatre setting with highly stylized scene transitions. The only distraction was an unwelcome and uninteresting narrative about an unlucky-in-love landowner. Highly recommended for anyone who isn’t a Russian literary scholar with preconceived ideas of what the film should and shouldn’t be.

What’s it about?
The true story of a Spanish family (presented as British) who, with tens of thousands of strangers, find themselves in the mayhem of one of the worst natural catastrophes of our time – the 2004 tsunami.

What did we think?
Anthony says: The Impossible is a harrowing rollercoaster of raw emotion. Amazing effects reconstruct the disaster and the ensuing carnage but it’s actually a movie about the human cost.

It might be argued some of the shots were held too long which might be true for a fiction piece, but here they work. To shorten them would be to gloss over a terrible tragedy. Surprisingly the film doesn’t focus too much on individual tragedies beyond the family, instead allowing you to apply the horror yourself.

A movie for the big screen but, given the inclusion of children, not one for parents.

What’s it about?
As the Civil War continues to rage, America’s president struggles with continuing carnage on the battlefield and as he fights with many inside his own cabinet on the decision to emancipate the slaves.

What did we think?
Anthony says: I cannot tell a lie: Lincoln the movie is more about the American politic system than it is about slavery. Which for me – a polititragic and history buff – was great. But to be frank, for the average person – particularly non-US citizens – this movie is going to feel unnecessarily long. Early on you’d be forgiven for thinking the writing process consisted of getting his most memorable quotes and finding ways to link them together. And the result of the political vote was drawn out longer than an American Idol verdict. Seriously.

But an amazing cast means both acting of the highest quality and the chance to play “who’s that behind that facial hair?”. Day Lewis is superb in the titular role and I found myself engrossed in the film though the friend I took with me said the movie should have been a quarter of the length. It does feel more like a movie made to win awards through patriotism and high production values rather than for the sake of telling the story but I enjoyed it.

If the idea of a 19th century version of The West Wing appeals to you then see it.

MY personal rating: 4
My general score: 3.5