What’s it about?
A mind-boggling list of Hollywood will-bes, currently-ares and has-beens star in a series of loosely connected shorts joined together by “The Pitch”, in which Dennis Quaid “plays” an unpredictable lunatic aggressively trying to sell his awful script to embattled studio exec Greg Kinnear (easily the most relatable character in the film).

What did we think?
Mitch says: A class of illiterate orphans with four broken pencils, three sheets of paper and a reference copy of Das Kapital could write a funnier movie than this, and there would probably be fewer dick jokes. If you ever feel like your life has no purpose, now you know it does: to go and punch Peter Farrelly right in his stupid face.

What’s it about?
After roasting the candy-housed witch in the fairy tale, Hansel and Gretel grow up and become, surprise surprise, witch hunters.

What did we think?
Liz says: We really need two rating systems. As a B-grade flick Hansel and Gretel is actually kind of enjoyable, even if it does suffer from a case of the “takes itself too seriously by the end” blues. But compare it to real movies and, well, let’s just say Hansel’s diabetes from eating too much candy as a kid comes up more than once. Curse you diabetes! It’s so schlocky bad that it ALMOST swings around to being good again. Almost. But Jeremy Renner gets his shirt off, so there is that.

What’s it about?
A beautiful aristocrat (Keira Knightly) in Imperial Russia learns the hard way that ‘’sin has a price’’ when she embarks on an affair with a wealthy young Count.

What did we think?
Lisa says: DISCLAIMER: This SuperQuickReview was written by a literary plebeian who has never read Tolstoy’s celebrated tome (me). As such, no comment has been made regarding the success of the story’s translation to film. I really don’t care.

Audience members will quickly become as infatuated with Anna Karenina as the tragic couple is with each other. The cast is superb and the film is visually exquisite. It has a unique, old-world theatre setting with highly stylized scene transitions. The only distraction was an unwelcome and uninteresting narrative about an unlucky-in-love landowner. Highly recommended for anyone who isn’t a Russian literary scholar with preconceived ideas of what the film should and shouldn’t be.

What’s it about?
The true story of a Spanish family (presented as British) who, with tens of thousands of strangers, find themselves in the mayhem of one of the worst natural catastrophes of our time – the 2004 tsunami.

What did we think?
Anthony says: The Impossible is a harrowing rollercoaster of raw emotion. Amazing effects reconstruct the disaster and the ensuing carnage but it’s actually a movie about the human cost.

It might be argued some of the shots were held too long which might be true for a fiction piece, but here they work. To shorten them would be to gloss over a terrible tragedy. Surprisingly the film doesn’t focus too much on individual tragedies beyond the family, instead allowing you to apply the horror yourself.

A movie for the big screen but, given the inclusion of children, not one for parents.

What’s it about?
As the Civil War continues to rage, America’s president struggles with continuing carnage on the battlefield and as he fights with many inside his own cabinet on the decision to emancipate the slaves.

What did we think?
Anthony says: I cannot tell a lie: Lincoln the movie is more about the American politic system than it is about slavery. Which for me – a polititragic and history buff – was great. But to be frank, for the average person – particularly non-US citizens – this movie is going to feel unnecessarily long. Early on you’d be forgiven for thinking the writing process consisted of getting his most memorable quotes and finding ways to link them together. And the result of the political vote was drawn out longer than an American Idol verdict. Seriously.

But an amazing cast means both acting of the highest quality and the chance to play “who’s that behind that facial hair?”. Day Lewis is superb in the titular role and I found myself engrossed in the film though the friend I took with me said the movie should have been a quarter of the length. It does feel more like a movie made to win awards through patriotism and high production values rather than for the sake of telling the story but I enjoyed it.

If the idea of a 19th century version of The West Wing appeals to you then see it.

MY personal rating: 4
My general score: 3.5

What’s It About?
Only one man could have saved the passengers of Flight 227, and the survivors are grateful that Captain “Whip” Whitaker is on board when their plane suffers catastrophic equipment failure. The problem is, Whip is an alcoholic with a penchant for cocaine, and before he gets into the cabin, he’s higher than the plane will ever get.

What Did We Think?
Stephen Scott says: Flight asks a simple question: how do you measure a man”s worth? By his deeds or by his honesty?

It’s a tumultuous journey that just happens to include a plane ride that will give your sphincter its exercise for the day. Flight is more a parable about being true to yourself than air crash investigations. Thankfully, Denzel Washington’s nuanced performance of a man in a terminal downward spiral is entrancing. Without his strong performance, Flight could easily have gone straight to video.

The music, while outstanding (The Rolling Stones & R&B classics), is used a little heavy handedly. But the direction, effects & supporting actors are high quality. A good movie, but not a great one.

What’s it about?
Pat (Bradley Cooper) is sprung from a court-ordered stint in a mental facility. He is determined to get his life back on track, stay positive, and reunite with his wife. Unfortunately his bipolar disorder and, shall we say, “musically triggered anger management issues” get in the way, as does young firecracker Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence).

What did we think?
Liz says: It’s the masterful performances that give Playbook its silver lining, and it’s not only the chemistry between Cooper and Lawrence that sizzles. The intricately written characters are dysfunctional fragments of a puzzle that, alone, seem lost and purposeless; when placed together they form a beautifully raw and vulnerable portrait of what it is to be human.  The plot suffers from occasional pacing issues, but the actors have created characters so damn compelling that they rope you in and implore you to care, whether you were with them the whole way or not. They’re crazy good, quite literally.

What’s it about?
Before the outbreak of the American Civil War, slave Django (Jamie Foxx) meets dentist/bounty hunter Dr. King Schultz (Christoph Waltz). Schultz frees Django and agrees to help him rescue his wife (Kerry Washington) from the clutches of seedy plantation owner Calvin Candie (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his sly house slave (Samuel L. Jackson). Also, racism.

What did we think?
Mitch says: Q-ball has done well everything he usually does well, and done poorly some things he usually does well, too. The humour and pacing is there – for the first half . Then Django transitions into territory that is dangerously close to being an outright two-dimensional mute.

I’ll skirt past the elephant in the room – the debate over whether Tarantino’s use of slavery and racism in pre-Civil War America amounts to anything meaningful or is just thinly veiled exploitation – because otherwise we’ll be here all day. Essentially, it’s the second one. And it’s violent as hell.

That said, Waltz, Foxx and DiCaprio are excellent and Tarantino has delivered a fitting tribute to the Westerns of old, soaked in irony and a genuine respect for the genre. It’s glorious, but no Inglourious.

What’s it about?
A talented chemical engineer is about to embark on a business trip across America to sell his new product. After a brief stop in to visit his heartbroken mum ,he invites her along hoping to reunite her with her new boyfriend.

What we think?
Elodie says: It reads more like a horror movie – a road trip with your mother! While the nagging might be a deterrent for some, Seth Rogan and Barbra Streisand work well together. Streisand’s overprotectiveness and the duo’s light banter fuels their journey across America in a way that’s entertaining enough albeit cliched. Light enough fare but I was reminded of my own sentimental moments as I left the theatre. Sometimes you have to smile and take their pestering as love – in fact, bring your mum along with you to see it.