What’s it about?
Heads, limbs and plausibility go bye-bye as a soundtrack of phat beatz bludgeons away in this homage to classic kung-fu cinema, written and directed by rapper, producer and Wu-Tang Clan merchandise seamstress RZA. In a jungle village, the confusingly named Jungle Village, where the hip-hopper strains – unconvincingly – to play a humble blacksmith, named Blacksmith, an old chap, Gold, is offed by his crooked henchmen, Silver and Bronze. A knife-brandishing English soldier, named (groan) Knife, turns up, oh, and there’s a big bloke who can turn his body into brass, and he’s named Brass Body, and … no, sorry, this is pointless.

What did we think?
Ben says: There’s no doubting RZA’s long-held passion for chopsocky – but he hasn’t created a film. This is as authentic as glupping Red Bull with Sushi Train. This is his indulgent mess of a wet dream. And it’s utter wank.

What’s it about?
Beca (Anna Kendrick) isn’t the sociable type but somehow gets cajoled into joining a social activity group called the Bellas. They “sing songs without any instruments at all. It’s all from our mouths” (insert appropriate blonde giggle here). But the Bellas are going to have to switch up their tired repertoire if they want a shot at beating their rivals, the Treblemakers, at nationals.  

What did we think?
Liz says: This film is what you would get if you sucked Glee dry of all it’s sugary, saccharine nonsense and injected it full of sassy, smart dialogue and a twisted sense of humour. Rebel Wilson steals the show as Fat Amy and had people in my audience applauding nearly every time she was on screen. There are moments where Pitch Perfect verges on taking itself too seriously, but they are few and this flick has attitude.

What’s it about?
James Bond’s (Daniel Craig) loyalty to M (Judi Dench) is tested when a blast from her past bites her on the ass. Then, when MI6 is attacked by a cyber terrorist, things get all meta and Bond’s old-school secret service hand-to-hand combat is pitted against a high-tech, gadget-savvy villain (Javier Bardem).

What did we think?
Ben says: Bond and his frost-faced boss, M, are facing their most formidable threat, and no, it’s not Bardem’s unambiguously camp supervillain. No, it’s the risk of obsolescence – onscreen as well as off. Yet, with the pall of death bookending the 23rd film in the franchise – from the haunting Adele-crooned title sequence and opening plot gambit, to the most un-Bondlike maudlin final reel – there’s life yet in the spy and his series, both proving craggily endurable. By Skyfall’s climax, Craig’s 007 seems more dutiful son than lethal gallivanter this time, but plentiful winks to trademark tropes (my word, is that an exploding pen in your pocket?) will reassure viewers the Bond mix is only being stirred, not shaken.

What’s it about?
Brian Taylor (Jake Gyllenhaal) and Mike Zavala (Michael Pena) are two LA police officers and long-time friends who go all Riggs and Murtaugh on a Mexican drug cartel and end up with a price on their heads.

What did we think?
Mitch says: Look, I guess this movie has its positives, especially if you’re already a fan of cop films. But their big thing at the start is how this is all footage shot by the cops themselves, and then it’s like the director just straight-up forgot that’s what they were doing, or maybe he just thought it was too hard to maintain. Handheld/’found’ footage is a slippery beast at the best of times, but establishing it as the crux of your storytelling method then just periodically abandoning it seems kind of insane, really.

What’s it about?
This is a movie about L Ron Hubbard, and the beginnings of the cult of Scientology. Except [makes rabbit ears with both hands] “it’s not”.

What did we think?
James says: The illustrations of psychological conditioning in this film border on the intellectually violent, with Joaquin Phoenix, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Amy Adams all delivering expertly crafted performances. Moreover, the cinematography was sublime and the soundtrack eerie and fitting.

If this movie was created to compare a few of the darkest corners of inhumanity, it succeeds in a fascinating yet horrifying way. However, the fact that it’s difficult to like or relate to any of the protagonists makes it an uneasy watch. This movie will polarise people its viewers deeply.

What’s it about?
Mark O’Brien (John Hawkes, Deadwood) is a poet and journalist with a sweet, vibrant mind but a polio-ridden tomb of a body. After taking an assignment to write an article about sex and the disabled, he enlists the services of a sex surrogate (Helen Hunt) to help him shed his V-plates, seeking counsel from a priest with glorious hair (William H. Macy) along the way.

What did we think?
Mitch says: This is a beautifully made, thoughtfully told remarkable movie that teeters between being hilarious and unbelievably heart-wrenching. Hawkes is astonishing, effortlessly moving the audience while actually moving, like, two muscles the entire time. Hunt gives a physically and emotionally powerful performance – although her Massachusetts accent is a little wonky. Meanwhile, the always wonderful Macy is at risk of being upstaged by his hair. Fans of Deadwood will enjoy the mini-reunion among the expanded cast. A glorious piece of filmmaking.

What’s it about?
Three skinny cows, resentful that their fat friend is getting married before them, make fun of her behind her back and then have to fix it when stuff goes predictably pear shaped.

What did we think?
Liz says: Apart from a few (very few) amusing one liners, this film totally squanders its usually hilarious cast (Lizzie Caplan, Isla Fisher and Adam Scott, I am looking at YOU). The leads are so unlikeable and mean-spirited that I didn’t give a damn what happened to any of them. This film should have been called Bitchelorette.

What’s it about?
A heartwarming tale about a boy and his dog. His dead dog.

What did we think?
Liz says: A return to the terrifically twisted kookiness of vintage Tim Burton. Based on a live-action short from 1984, this delightfully dark flick pays homage to classic schlock horror movies using Burton’s iconic stop-motion animation and eerily cute designs. Not sure the 3D added much and the ending didn’t quite ring true but it’s an enjoyable ride fans will welcome. Restricting the film to black and white lends a macabre, attractively moldy atmosphere that almost erases some of Burton’s overly colourful missteps into the mainstream during the past few years. The Halloween partner to Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas, it’s sure to gently thrill the youngster in those old enough to remember comic-book ads for Sea Monkeys.

What’s it about?
A couple of Californian drug dealers and their shared girlfriend face a hostile takeover of their Laguna Beach drug business by a brutal Mexican cartel.

What did we think?
Lisa says: With an interesting-in-theory plotline and strong performances from supporting players, Savages could have been much better.
Instead, the film suffered from shallow performances from the three leads, an over-reliance on cringe-worthy narration, and a serious lack of decisive direction to the point where two alternate endings were included (and neither of them was much good).

Only bother if you’re in the mood to watch pretty people doing violent things.

What’s it about?
In a future where time travel has been invented, mob bosses send their enemies back to the past to be killed by “loopers”. Joe lives the high life eliminating whomever the mob bosses send back, no questions asked. Which works fine, until they send future-Joe back to be disposed of… and he escapes.

What did we think?
Elizabeth says: A taut, well-paced thrill ride, this feels like one of the freshest takes on the whole time travel schtick in a long time. The script sets up the sci-fi premise of the tale, before cleverly a shifting the focus onto the characters, giving Looper an emotional weight I wasn’t expecting.  Joseph Gordon-Levitt does a great young Bruce Willis, and Bruce Willis plays a great old Bruce Willis. And who doesn’t love Bruce Willis? Serious acting props also have to go to the creepy kid (Pierce Gagnon).

It doesn’t pay to look too closely at the logic behind this flick; there are holes in the time travel theory and thinking about them may make your brain explode. But really, when a movie is this entertaining, who gives a damn about logic?