Movies in a minute

The concise critics

There’s no doubt that I talk a lot. And the only time I’m ever quiet is when I sit down to watch a movie. Even then however, I somehow become the annoying impersonator – the one who mimics the actors playing on screen, trying to do as they do, be as they are. Let’s face it, you know my type. You feed my type popcorn, because it will get you half way through the show in silence. But there’s something I’ve noticed that’s affected me. Every line I recite becomes a line of my own. Like glue, it sticks and no matter what I do to shake these lines off, they stay.

When faced with indifference I don’t say “I don’t care”. No, instead I say “frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn”. I often declare myself the king of the world (gender notwithstanding) and the first time I set foot in the alien world of Ipswich I looked around and actually uttered “I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore”.

It’s true – movies have shaped my entire vocabulary.

This obsession started at an early age. With a keen attitude towards being a doctor, Kindergarten Cop taught me all about health. If I had a headache, well the symptoms might just be a bit more serious than that. But wait… ‘It’s not a tumour!’ Not to mention, I learnt the anatomy of boys and girls pretty fast and would advise others as such.

Cartoons paved a potential career in home economics. Shrek helped me understand that the best activity one could do was ‘stay up late, swapping manly stories and in the morning, I’m making waffles.’ However with a short attention span, I was easily distracted by other things. ‘I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.’ Chicken Run further educated me about crime and the difference between holidays and solitary confinement. I knew that I had to make an impact in my life. Some could say I had an epiphany where ‘my life flashed before my eyes and it was really boring.’

Therefore, I gathered that to be employable I needed to refine my skills. ‘Like my nun chuck skills, bow hunting skills and computer hacking skills.’ Napoleon Dynamite encouraged my interest in politics and I learnt that ‘if you vote for me, I’d make all your wildest dreams come true.’ On a side note, this quote actually made its way into my Year 12 captaincy speech. I can vouch for its ability to work as I landed the position I was after.

Entering adolescence, some could say that I became a bit of a Mean Girl. If you didn’t wear the right clothing on some days then I shouted you ‘can’t sit with us.’ I prided myself in looking fabulous and people knew that my hair was so big ‘because it’s full of secrets.’ And I didn’t calm people down with hugs or soothing words, preferring to simply yell “there’s no crying in baseball!”

It took me awhile to realise ‘houston, we have a problem’. It’s true: without knowing it, I’d almost joined the dark side and become a walking quoting machine. The force was VERY strong within this one.

Ultimately, I realised how negative ‘mean’ was and stopped fantasising about jumping over tables and clawing other girls. Instead I wished ‘that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles and we’d all eat it and be happy.’

My love for all things creative provided a welcome distraction and fellow bombshells Kath and Kim reminded me that ‘it’s noice, it’s different and it’s unusual.’ And I revelled in the knowledge that nobody could put baby in the corner. But in all honesty I couldn’t handle the competitiveness of this business. There were only A Few Good Men in show business and I couldn’t handle the truth they gave me.

I also discovered that in the performing arts, screaming “show me the money” only gets you a reputation as a prima donna princess.

Finally, I settled on Journalism as a career choice and set about improving my grammar by watching Clueless. I learnt the essence of inserting rather big words into my sentences, though this didn’t happen ‘sporadically’ or ‘spontaneously’. I learnt other lingo as well ensuring I was mature with my chosen language. Despite this, I knew that at the same time I could always chill and ‘roll with my homies.’

Though to this day I meet confrontation with a steely gaze and ask them if they feel lucky.

And these are just some of the movies that form the crux of my everyday sayings. Spend any amount of time with me and you’ll start questioning whether I have any original dialogue (I do by the way – but you’re really not giving me enough credit for my ability to communicate via movie-speak).

I had no need to look any of these up as I wrote this. They are deeply entrenched in my brain, taking up valuable space that was meant for university study notes. Oh well. I’m sure you have the same problem, right?

Hasta la vista baby.

 

Do you have any quotes you use in everyday life?

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5 Responses so far.

  1. “I have a bad feeling about this”. I use it all the time.

  2. James says:

    What we have here is a failure to communicate…

  3. Kim Gianialli says:

    I always say life is like a bpx of chocolates and I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to buy her stuff. loz

  4. Nina Williams says:

    YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!

  5. Stephen says:

    Terminate with extreme prejudice.

    I use it daily.

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